10 POUNDS!!!

Today I woke up and got my ass to the Y this morning. I joined the "Biggest Losser 3" and its been going down... till today. I have not been on their scale for 12 days and over those days I freaking gained 10pounds!!. WOW, !! I was eating what I wanted for that time.. not caring.. but omg 10 pounds!. Now, I am kicking it into high gear. All this week... no work.! (spring break) So I have no excume but to go to the fitness center and to the YMCA. Gonna see about getting into the step101 class. Depending on what time of the day.

Wednesday afternoon going down to tony's house. That night, gonna head down to Spin for $1 night. Tonja said that she will join Tony and I. Maybe her gf Nikki will come along. Nikki is a trip. Very nice dancer. Shes the type of woman that I could dance sexual with.. and she wont think anything of it. LOL Tonja on the other hand. At least its with me.. she doesnt need to worry about it. See what happens. Then Thrusday, its is to be like mid60's degrees... so maybe tony&i do some walking around Lakeview... hmmmm maybe eat at Joy's?? alll kari's fault that I like thai food.!! lol

What a Dream!!

I woke up to a smile on my face at 555am this bright saturday morning. In my dream... I was about 50pounds lighter and trying to sleep on the street with some friends to see a parade in the morning. After I learned that the parade was going by Tony's apartment.. I started working down the street. One side was the street.. other side of me, was a deep drop off into a darken river. As I came closer to end of the road.. there was a jewlery case. I picked up this awsome glass pen. I wanted to buy it, only $17.00 but there was no one around to pay it from. So, I kept walking. Next thing I knew; I was in my tight ass butt hugging jeans. With a low cut breast showing top. And I was in a club.. sitting watching the butchs and femme women dance around the dance club. Sitting on the lower level with my drink. I just got up and pushed in my chair when I saw this HOT butch!!. She was CHASTITY!!... oo and her gf. When I went up the stairs to go to the ladys room. I watched as Chastity's eyes were following me and watching my ass. I felt so wanted in a sexual way. After I came back down. Chastity was eyeing me..smiling.

It sure made me feel great when I woke up.

To Be or Not to BE

Is that the real question????

I have been thinking a lot this week about how my life is taking shape. From how friends & family to where I work and live. I am seeing this week, that I am truthy unhappy where I am work. Being turned down to due from polictal and personail relates with co-workers. Now, its because I have not taken a library science class. When 2-3 times before that wasnt something that was a "need" to have. When is education more important than personail work exp.? What value does the education part hold beyond the exp.? I would have an AA and half if was just base of how many hours completed. Maybe even a BFA. Give me the damn paper... what job can I can at what rate of paid? Would I be happy? To what point should "work" influence where or how I live my life!! It's to make money so that I can live a life... right? So, far I am doing it all wrong. Hope after Monday, I'll have a better outlook on make money and how I want to live my life on my own again.

Does anyone read this blog anyways???

Snow in March

Its snowing and I am not looking forward of leaving work. Hope to God, that I dont fall on my fat azz. When it spring gonna get its ass here. I cant wait for nice 70 degree weather. Have the car windows down, XM on BMP playing LOUD and LOUDER on the good mix. Going to the gay beach during the summer... laying out with Tony. Yeah, enjoying the look of straight women with their gay male friends. LOL. Is there a lesbian beach in the midwest anyways? Hmmm theres a money market.

Deb and I went out Friday to Rudy Tuesday. Omg, I should of just had the salad bar. It was sooo yummy. But, dumb ass when for the N.O. Seafood. It was okay and all, but the salad bar was nothing to compare too. Finally was that mountain gay movie. It wasokay, not something I am gonna run out and buy when it comes to DVD like Tony is doing. He already ordered it from the gay&lesbian book clue. I am soo far behind in reading the book that I ready brought. I find myself reading more during the summer. At a park under a tree...reading.. day dreaming..ect.

When is the summer gonna be here? I already have $50 in gift cards to buy summer clothes. One at LB other $25 at Torrid. Hope first of April, I'll be ready to get another $25... hmmm yep from Torrid. Hot Syled Sexy clothes.

life outside of what I know

I watch a show last night on fish/animal life in the deep black oceans. How life can be into being without any light and deal with the pressure of the water. When we as humans go and explore this unknown world. As a child, I always looked at books that had unseen animals and fish in them. They looked they just stepped out of a cartoon or as fairy tale. To this day, I couldnt tell you what was true or false.

What life is out in space? How do we know as humans what is life or what is not? Theres a force of engry... it wouldnt have life? It's not real? What or who puts a label on it to say "yes this is real" "no this is just a chem thing"

Anyways, I am getting too deep for me to be at work. Damn Gene has a big bag of peanut M&Ms. Only have a big ONE handfull.